Support Aya

FOR PARENTS

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You are a parent and you discover that your beloved daughter or son is working in the strip club or adult entertainment industry, and you are devastated. Everything flashes through your mind from “whose hands are they in and what are they going through or being exposed to?” to “what if our friends and family find out?”  You remember back to their childhood when they blew bubbles, played with dolls or cars and their purity and innocence was preserved. And of course underneath it all is the big question: “What can or should I do?” First, let me tell you that you are not alone. We get emais and phone calls regularly from parents who discover their children are working as dancers, escorts, or in pornography. While we are not counselors and we don’t have all the answers, we can offer encouragement and support and some recommendations to help you love your son or daughter right where they are. Here are some suggested Do’s and Don’ts:
Do:
  • Reassure them that you still love them and support them and most importantly that God does, too.
  • Cover them in love. The Bible tells us that love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). It is up to them to share this information with others not you. It is understandable for you to seek support and guidance from a few trusted people, but discussing this with people who really cannot speak into it will likely leaving you feeling frustrated and discouraged, and will only further distance your child from you, potentially destroying your relationship.
  • Seek confidential counseling and support from qualified professionals capable of walking with and guiding you through this journey. 
  • Ask appropriate questions e.g. “Are you happy with your job? Do you feel safe? Do you need any extra support?” Do your best not to debate their answers, or treat them and those they work with as if they have no dignity or have sold their soul.
  • Remember your goal is to maintain relationship and contact with your loved one, so avoid anything which could alienate them from you.
  • PRAY. Never underestimate the power of your prayers. Nothing falls deaf on God’s ears. Nothing. Remember that your child is important to Him and He longs to move in their life.
Don’t:
  • Blame yourself. God grants every person free will, including your child. People from a variety of familial backgrounds make the decision to work in a strip club or other aspect of the sex industry, and no matter how your beloved son or daughter got there, it is not your fault.
  • Get angry if they’ve been deceptive or kept this a secret from you. This is not the type of thing one usually wants to write home about.
  • Assume the worst. There are a lot of stereotypes about sex-industry workers that do not apply to everyone and it doesn’t necessarily mean that your son or daughter fits into any of those categories or your preconceived ideas.
  • Try to talk them out of it. They are an adult and have made this decision as an adult regardless of the reasons you may or may not think are behind that decision. [If your child is UNDER 18 and you suspect they may have been forced, coerced, or trafficked, contact your local authorities and/or the Human Trafficking Hotline at 888-373-7888]
  • Expose or embarrass them. The last thing you want to do is out them to other family members or community. As mentioned in the "DO" section– love them where they are and COVER them in that love. Keeping in mind that doesn’t mean to ignore the situation, it just means that you realize you cannot control it.

Recommended books for parents of Industry workers:
[Adapted from a stripchurch.com blog by
​Michelle Truax]

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